Why internet discourse slowly eats away at all happiness available to mankind

I don't remember when, but life got really boring. I'm apt to blame the internet, but it was happening on my mission too. Here's the problem. Everywhere seems to be turning into an echo chamber. You can't go two days without running into some big issue on Facebook. There's always some shooting or some mosque being vandalized or some gay rights protest going down, and everyone immediately jumps onto their pet cause. Usually, the representation for one side of the issue is overwhelming, and the other side is almost nonexistent. Usually, the argument is saturated with a sort of indignant passion. Almost always, the issue is quite small in the large scale. 

I think that is the part that's the deal-breaker for me. I hate to be this guy, but chances are that none of these issues do or will ever reach a circle where you are affected, and the reverse is also true. Most people will never be in the same city as a mass shooting. Even less will ever perpetrate one. Most people aren't denying gays service or calling for mass deportations. The problem is that we find the special snowflake who is pulling these stunts and we make a huge deal about it. We all throw our handful of pine needles onto the fire, and watch it turn into a consuming inferno. 

This has two effects. The first is keeping the wrong thing in the spotlight. Some people are dicks. it happens. There's probably a kid from your high school who spent most of the class trying to anger his teacher or fellow students. You probably don't remember his name. The question is why do we keep putting the camera on people we don't like? Why do we let these people be spokesmen for causes with a 1% approval rating? People lose their pedestals as soon as there is no longer a camera pointed at them. So stop supporting them.

The other effect is that it that original thought and solid argument break down. When I was in debate, almost the first thing I learned was to never combat an argument by saying it is ridiculous. Even if that is perfectly true, it conditions debaters to stop thinking about issues on the simple but incorrect notion that the fault is manifest. There are truly crazy theories promoted all over the world. Usually these come out of a basement that reeks of BO and stale Doritos. As you might expect, these sorts of people don't get very much street cred or any other type of cred. 

On the other hand, there are those with a much larger circle of influence. This is usually because their argument, although the final point is bogus, it stems from some valid arguments or builds on something more intangible, like fear or anger. When 90% of people recognize that the argument is ridiculous, usually Facebook fills up with denunciations filled with ad hominem attacks and usually concludes with such statements as "only someone crazy would believe this."

One of the most poignant messages I learned on my mission was that the best way to ruin a perfectly good argument is to represent it poorly. This is why I refrain from ever commenting on such issues during the heat of the moment. Nobody is interested in listening or debating. The foremost issue on everyone's agenda is to make sure it's clear that everyone knows that they're not one of those idiots who supports the opposition. The arguments aren't arguments at all. They're propaganda. Propaganda in a positive direction? Perhaps. However, it turns the internet into a giant echo chamber.

I mentioned that I felt this same problem brewing in the mission. There, I was always in an apartment with three other guys who were currently spending their lives in the exact same way I was. Perhaps 75% of the time, one of the guys was from Utah or southern Idaho. Back in the MTC, a speaker chuckled about a missionary who said that he couldn't work with Elders from Utah. I didn't laugh. Although I have nothing against Utah natives, there is a definite effect of being immersed in a culture where they are the majority. I grew up in Washington, and I spent three years on a debate team filled mostly with individuals with very opinionated, opposing views. I was a minority in this respect, and the collision of ideals ultimately did much more help than harm. 

I am profoundly thankful for my parents, who taught me that the majority of people are good people, and usually their beliefs, once dissected, are completely sensible. This shaped the way I speak to people. On the other hand, living in a bottle with three other people was a deathtrap of rhetorical discussion. I found that most people grow up believing that there are certain pieces of culture that they are expected to conform to, and that it can vary widely. 

The biggest problem was when things that were certainly not doctrine or commandments were treated as such. The problem was that they were discussed in a matter-of-fact way that tended to make others feel excluded. You do not need to be a Republican to be a Latter Day Saint. You do not need have to support gun rights or have a certain occupational path. Your baptism count does not affect your righteousness. The problem with Utah is that certain pockets of culture become attached to the church, and they become confused as doctrine. In the apartment, these become the expectations. It can cause great amounts of discomfort from those who do not share those views. Most of the time, challenging this sort of status quo immediately damages the newcomer's ethos. 

This is the same effect the internet causes. Your points may be right. Your view may be fully qualified. But when issues are treated as enlightened vs. the fool, the bridge of communication is burned from both sides.

If there is untruth, fight it. If you are convinced you are correct, endeavor to convince others. But for the love of everything holy, do not start out by calling your opponents fools.

Rant over.

Some thoughts on bad stats

The lights glare down on a sparkling stage, where several young women nervously face the judges. The year is 2007, and the future Ms. Teen USA is in this group. The judge proceeds down the aisle. Unknown to all present, a piece of YouTube comedy gold is about to be born. Turning to Ms. South Carolina, he asks her to explain the problem of political unawareness in the United States. In a moment, it becomes obvious that she is the queen of the unaware. Stammering, a cascade of disconnected words tumble from her mouth: "personally believe... and the maps... Iraq". The blended mess of buzzwords fades out and the audience claps uneasily. Besides the several data points evident on the internet, the world had a new reason to distrust teenage selfie-posters as a reliable source of information.

Chuckle at this story though we may, it underlines a serious issue. The world we live in takes its financial advice from advertisers, accepts dieting tips from fashion magazines, and awards the camera to whoever represents an opinion in the most obnoxious way possible. The casual manner that we adopt while tossing around statistics is particularly disturbing. An old joke claims that 87 percent of statistics are made up on the spot, but the truth of the statement overshadows the humor. Statistics are supposed to be the gatekeeper of truth, but all too often, pundits and presidents misquote or mislead using these very tools. Although such data is invaluable, social integrity and decency both dictate that statistics should be presented and controlled in a way that does not skew the truth.

In no way am I raising a call to arms against those who use statistics. On the contrary, they are perhaps the most solid bedrock one can use to support a claim. A quick scan of all sorts of historical incidents easily brings this to light. It's a story we know too well by now. The smoking industry hid behind a wall of happy-go-lucky commercials, only to have a wrecking ball of studies break through their smokescreen. The same pattern showed up a few decades later surrounding climate change, and still shows up every time there is a health or human rights conference. In all of these situations, statistics were the hammer that drove the final nail in the coffin. Unfortunately, the back end of the same hammer keeps trying to pull the nails out. The reason it took so much solid research to overcome smoking bias was because for every study used to prove the risk of cancer, another report was published denying the risk. Climate change is consistently swept under the rug. Even a country such as North Korea can paint itself through rose-tinted glasses if they can control the sample interviewed.

Usually, the driving power behind such blatantly biased results is a blatantly biased experiment. Data collection is a remarkably delicate program, subject to more manipulation than a cat faced with a laser pointer. For example, one report claimed that over 70% of Americans were in favor of legalizing marijuana, including 67% of Republicans: the sworn enemies of fun and freedom. However, a closer look at this survey reveals a few discrepancies. For one thing, the poll was conducted by a group known as the MPP, This name may sound innocent enough, until the hyperlink takes you to the Marijuana Policy Project homepage, with a banner that proclaims "we change laws". If this name weren't bad enough, that 67% figure rounds nicely to two out of three. It is entirely possible that the survey takers made their way down to Berkeley, CA, went to the local hangouts, and asked all the college students their views on smoking the marijuana like a cigarette. On such a street, finding more than three republicans may prove quite the challenge.

Similar studies can be found for nearly any topic, ranging anywhere from gun control to gay rights. the more hot button an issue, the more backing there will be. After finding the obvious trends, such statistics are easy to spot. Unfortunately, emotion is a more powerful trigger than facts, and the cycle perpetuates itself. The greatest perpetrator is public opinion polls. Shoddy reporting leads to charged reactions, which in turn leads to a very easy to steer mob mentality. In such instances, the careful rewording of a question can have incredible power. "Do you think homosexuals hold the same rights as others?" will yield a far more mild result than a question that contains such words as "oppressed" or "discriminated". Leading the witness happens far more often outside of the courtroom than inside of it.

Misinformation is a plague whose only cure is regulation. Several years ago, I was sent to the Redbox in search of a family movie. My little sister was in tow. As I browsed through the selection, her eye caught a movie entitled "The True Story of Puss in Boots". Upon seeing this, she instantly confused it with the popular Shrek spin-off with a similar name. Exasperated, I attempted to explain the concept of a mockbuster to my dear sister. As my coup de etat, I cleverly pointed out that there was no mention of Shrek anywhere on the box. However, unyielding screaming in public usually beats out logic. Thus, I spent the next 2 hours watching the CGI mess that marked the low point of William Shatner's career.

In this example, Shrek was the undeniable, trademarked proof that separated the real deal from the raw deal. Statistics needs such a guardian. we need to sort the chocolate chip goodness of strong, true statistics from the nefariously identical oatmeal raisin lookalikes. It would be a simple matter to set up a committee that acts as the snopes.com of the statistical world. Every cute bar graph displayed across the news would require some watermark in the corner, signifying that it had been approved my a decent statistician.

Another essential step is to avoid causing this effect by poorly designed surveys. Most large polling institutions are already very good at preventing this. It's the smaller ones that often experience problems. The reason telephone surveys exist in the first place is to create a wider, less biased sample. For the same reason, pollsters often ask different versions of the same question to eliminate response bias. Such practices ought to be observed across the field. In addition, it is the responsibility of every citizen to participate in such surveys. Uncomfortable though it may be, elections show us what happens when only the extremists show up to voice their opinions.

The problem of shoddy statistics, although certainly not new, is still not set in stone. It is a problem that can be uprooted. In the modern world, information is one of the most important commodities available. So many people who think they have it are being paid with counterfeit bills. Now is the time to choose decency over control. Now is the time to choose enlightenment over ignorance. Although it will take the cooperation of all involved, the world's perception of data could be changed very easily. In this assertion, I advocate for no side except for the truth. If truthful reporting leads to some uncomfortable truths, let them come to light. Whatever the political cost, it is cheaper than the cost of ignorance.

Why America beats the snot out of Korea

When I was in Korea a week or two ago, there were a couple punk kids sitting across the room at Pizza School, the get-together for all the local gangs. There was some show going on the TV about Korean independence, and, without so much as considering that perhaps some white people can speak Korean, one of these LOL-saturated punks launched into a tirade of anti-Americanism. Of course, I could have told him that I understood every word he said, but I decided to listen to his turdiness. His rant went a little something like this:

"Yeah, America would be super easy to take. All we have to do is fly over, find their tallest mountain, send in a plane with a few guys, and stick the Korean flag in it. No, I don't know where that mountain is, but it can't be too hard to find, I mean, it's a mountain, right. Naw, don't mind those two white guys, they don't understand what I'm speaking. Do they look Korean? Anyway, America. You know what their problem is...?"

And so it went.

Now, as you can all tell from the American flag tattooed on the bottom of my left heel, I LOVE AMERICA. So today, I want to reflect on all the reasons we could beat Korea.

1. Everyone in this country has a gun.

In Korea, nobody carries guns. Not even to Walmart. They don't even have Walmart! In America, we are armed to the teeth, no matter where we go.

2. We have a much cooler flag than the Koreans.

The flag is the emblem of a country, the mouthpiece of patriotism. The American flag is deeply filled with meaningful symbolism. 13 Colonies? 13 stripes. 50 states? Let's put 50 stars on that sucker. The Korean flag, on the other hand?

Look at this thing. What's represented on here? Some yin-yang deal and a bunch of poorly-broken twix bars. They even stole our colors. The most valuable thing about this flag is as an example on how to avoid symmetry. 

3. Our soldiers are more well-trained. 

You know what Koreans do? League of Legends. You know what you do in League of Legends? Honestly, I don't know either, but I know something something monster fight magic. You know what American teenagers do? They cuss each other out on Call of Duty. That teaches all Americans, from the time they're 11, all vital skills they will need to keep America great.In addition, all those hours blasting Nazi Zombies contribute to an increased immunity to the effects of Mountain Dew. If we can survive that, we can certainly survive a Korean invasion.

AMERICA IS THE BEST

I don't even know

 Well, internet. It's been a long time since we last talked. A lot has happened. A lot of it isn't going to hit the face of the web. But rest assured, I am alive. I'm a bit college kid now, off doing big college things. It still hasn't quite sunk in yet. The reason I've neglected this blog wasn't because my life was boring, but because it wasn't. Like I said, a lot of stuff has happened, and a lot of it has been cool stuff. The tricky thing is narrowing down all this stuff into a form I can wrap myself around. It's a daunting task. But I'll try.

The first thing that college is good at teaching you is that you're small. When you're in a class with over 700 students, it's phenomenally easy to tell. All through high school, I sat in classes surrounded by kids I had known for years, and teachers who could name everyone in there. Now, I was lost in a sea of faces. The funny thing was I discovered that it wasn't altogether bad. In fact, it's rather refreshing in a way. As a speck, you are free to focus on the material being presented, rather than worrying about how you appear to your fellow students. Not only is this nice for a relief of responsibility, but it also rules out one of the more annoying types of kids in the class. The Belligerent.

We all know this kid. He's the one who is so talented, it would be a waste for the world to pass on unaware. So The Belligerent bravely raises his hand every time, showing that he, unlike the mere mortals surrounding him, has obtained a complete knowledge of the field of study. The Belligerent is unafraid, and eagerly puts it on display. At the beginning of each class period, he blabbers on loudly, making the room aware of just the sort of person he is. The Belligerent also uses his lack of fear to great effect when he challenges the teacher, displaying his great skills at logic in a no-doubt flawless argument.

The nice thing about the seas of kids is that The Belligerent gets swallowed up. He loudly shows off, but only his immediate peers hear him. His charming effect leaves no mark on the teacher. His grade, like that of everyone else in the class, is based on what shows up on the paper. His power means nothing, and he finds, like those around him, that his quest for status was unfruitful.

So yeah. This post turned out to be a rant about a kind of kid I don't like. Hope that's okay.

A Long Overdue Post

Ladies and Gentlemen, I continue to be alive. November has been a busy month, but a good one. Life continues in a similar fashion. The last couple of weeks have been some of the most overwhelming and most exciting in my life. Things go well.

Deep thoughts or something? Yeah. I can do that. Today's question is: "Eli, what drives you?"

Of course, the classic response would be something about how I prefer to bike, but that joke is both corny and untrue. In response to this question, I found that I have chauffeurs. I rarely ever am driven by myself. Self-motivation is something that's hard to find and even harder to understand. What I am driven by is others. Not by their expectations. You can yell at me all you want, and nothing is going to change. What drives me is the competition.

This realization was weird. I am far from a Type A personality, partially due to how they don't exist. Also due to the way I try to be laid-back and passive with my dealings among my fellow men. However, under this calm facade, I found that it is one-uppery that drives me. For months now, I've been looking back on my elementary school days. Why was I such a better student then than I am now? The answer: I wanted to be the best. Not some "my personal best" crap. The best.

Toolish? A little. But my drive was never to stick a crown on my head. It was legitimately for self-gain. I have found that it is this competition that shaped me, not into a tyrant, but somebody who could get a shot at the glory. It wasn't just trying to be a better debater. It was trying to be the best debater. I didn't want to just learn Chinese. I wanted to speak with more fluidity and eloquence than anyone in my class. I was not as successful as I had hoped, but I did well.

So the next time you see me alpha-maling or scrambling to stick myself at the top of the heap, don't take it personally.

The I'm Not Dead Post

Let the world know I'm alive. It's been a busy month, so I haven't been able to post very often. But I am now. Relish it. I might not post again until December. A few thoughts in the interim:

Today, it rained. Not the gentle rain that sprinkles down, leaving you nearly untouched. Not the torrential downpours that sting every nerve, letting you know that you're alive. That miserable in between rain that comes down slow and wet. The kind that plops down the back of your shirt, giant drops that soak through and leave an explosion of water where they hit. Not a lovely thing. I don't know where I'm going with this.

I can't decide if doing something every day is really easy or really hard. At some point, it becomes routine, and you just roll with it. But getting to that point is immensely difficult.

Having to share your time makes you value it more.

You may not think it, but your parents are probably incredibly similar to you. Take some time to try and catch them when they're off-duty. You'll find that they're pretty cool people.

Korean is hard.

Hostess is going out of business, and it means absolutely nothing to me. So many things happen, things that may be tragedies to some, and we don't care. That's okay, but it's a strange thought that there are cries of chubby kids across the United States, wailing for their twinkies.

Most people are willing to do things for you if you ask.

Those who point out the faults of others usually have more serious problems.

These points are becoming more and more vague, so I'll draw the line here. Until next time. Peace.

Understanding

Here's something to think about: you live on a planet with seven billion other people. Several billion more existed before you, and several billion are still on their way. Each and every one of them has a life just as deep as yours. And each and every one of these lives will carry on, whether you're watching or not.

Now consider this: Each one of these people sees life through a different set of eyes than you.They each have a different life, a set of millions of instances and choices that led to the culmination of where they are today. These  are deep and intricate webs of experience, and there is nobody on Earth who matches you.

This leads to my big thought. There are countless other people out there. And you can't understand a single one. Try as we might, we have our own lens we view the world through. When you think you know somebody, it's not true. What you know is the caricature you invented, the mask you superimposed over their true self. This is not a bad thing. It's the best way we have to understand each other, so we might as well use it. Even so, it's important to realize that out of all the people out there, we know exactly one of them.

Of course, this thought will disturb us every now and again. Knowing only ourselves is a bit disturbing. So we try to improve, and live other lives. It's why we read, watch TV, play video games, learn. We want to get a brief glimpse of another life, so we try to live it vicariously. Sometimes, we want more than just a snapshot. We want to know somebody as well as we know ourselves. Of course, this is a momentous task. But we attempt it and name it love. Sometimes, people succeed. Watch the mannerisms of an old couple if you don't believe me, and that brings me joy.

But no matter what we do, you will still run into a thousand people in your lifetime, and each will have a story as intricate as yours. Chances are you won't give most of them any more attention than you would a spare nickle. All those lives, and you might understand one.

Food for thought.