Being a Man

Nothing Interesting is on TV. There are a lot of stupid people on the internet, I don't want to be knocked out by the Summer Reading Assignment again, and my jaw is still to sore to do anything meaningful outside. I'm blogging.

Now, this post is derived from a discussion I've had with quite a few of my female friends (yes, this demographic does exist). It is the age-long discussion that has re-emerged in every generation: What does it mean to be a man?

Let's enter into this discussion the most fitting way possible.

Now that we've been properly introduced, let's do this the good old-fashioned way. Doubtless, there are many benefits to being a man. Of course, the Y chromosome is also a burden to bear. Ladies and gents, I give unto you a Pros and Cons chart!

Pros of Being a Man:

Never have to worry about hair
Allowed to watch stupid movies and not be judged as harsly
We can freely admit that bodily functions exist in front of each other
No make-up
Generally less dramatic lives
Interior design doesn't bug most men
We aren't expected to be as artsy
7 shades of color. That's it
Guy jerks, although usually pretty bad, are nowhere near as bad as female jerks
You get to like cool things like Avatar and Batman and not get shunned because of it
Get to be as mysterious ad the dark side of the moon
Most members of your sex don't talk
Getting to be a dad. How cool is that?

Con, Man (See what I did there?)

You end up hanging out with a lot of pyros
You are expected to like sports
Having to always take the initiative when dealing with relationships
Have to fight a bear like every night
The constant pressure to appear masculine
Most other members of your sex can't talk
Men's locker rooms
Get to work until we're 65
Hair must remain above the neckline
Often viewed as the brute workers, not fun
Wangst is often more frowned on

That's all for now. This post may very well warrant a part two.