The Pre-Surgical Post

In a few hours, I get to undergo the removal of my wisdom teeth. Wheeeee. I was considering a great number of things to talk about in this post. You could have read about the blues, about arterials and side streets, about participation points, or perhaps about forging signatures. Nope. Today, you get to read about the ever-so-exciting topic... Of fandom.

Ah yes, the raving sea of devotees that find a book or television show that is so magical, they have to tell everyone. Their greatest joy in life, aside from watching their show of choice, is rubbing it into the face of every other teenager on the planet. If my view isn't clear yet, I really hate fandoms. Let's take a look at a few:

Harry Potter:

The staple example. Harry Potter is a series of fine movies and even better books. JK Rowling is one of the finer authors out there. I fear that her subtle wit goes unnoticed by most of the crowd, in favor of the story of a boy wizard. Here's my problem with the fandom: everyone and their dog has jumped on it. It is one thing to look at the book carefully, as a piece of art, and admire it a such. It is another thing entirely to dress up in robes and point sticks at everything. You're 17 now. Stop it. Harry Potter has been drowned by so many fans, the chances of finding an intelligent, practical one are remote.

Avatar: TLA/LOK:

This is a fan base I tend to tolerate a bit more, on account that there are significantly less cheerleaders on this fandom because they were too busy reading the Harry Potter books to fit in. However, this is where the problem starts. Although a dedicated fanbase, they are, once again, a little too dedicated. Meaning that they don't shut up about it. Ever. Some of the spoony first years took this to crazy proportions. Some kid throws a spoon. "He's a spoonbender!" A guy fans himself while drinking water. "It's the Avatar!" No, kid. It's not the Avatar, he's not spoonbending, and you're giving the show a bad name. Shut up.

(Spoonbender is now part of my auto correct dictionary. How cool is that?)

Doctor Who:

Another one of my favorite shows. Another freaky fandom. True Whovians are great people, mind you, but the number of posers you get in the fandom, well, that's something else entirely. Doctor Who, due to both it's off-the-wall sci-fi nature and being produced on the other side of the pond, produces a great number of stupid hipster fans. I really don't like about 80% of the fandom at my school, because they make up this body of posers. And for what? Who are they trying to impress? Other stupid hipsters. Why can't they have their socially awkward make-out sessions without getting my show in the way?

The Hunger Games:

A fandom crazy enough to drive me away. Future Gladiators fighting to the death in a huge, man-made stadium? Cool. Debates over whether Peeta has nicer abs than Gale? Not cool. This inner bickering, alongside the Harry-Potteresque hype, drove me away in disgust.

Twilight:

This one, I'm not going to discuss the fans. Nope, I'm going after the haters this time around. So I'm defending the books? Sue me. I have never read Stephanie Meyer's book, I don't intend to. It doesn't sound like an appealing series. However, there are too many haters directing their energy at Twilight. I understand if you don't like it, but please at least refrain from telling Facebook three times a day about it. If your final literature project is to graffiti Twilight and call it art, you've probably gone too far.

Fans. I'll never understand them.

Peace out, readers.